"I sought fit words to paint the blackest face of woe" ~ Sir Philip Sidney

To have finally lost it completely This world, its people, my dank prison cell obviously, I could not crack their code happy to be alone, solitude grants aggravators a chance to ring a bell vision of the future, locked in the past emancipation freed from this abode figure it all out mustard seed, the ants in the anthill, eaten by an aardvark not that people care, African outcast am I an alien, homesick for space let me out of this suburban nightmare let me go, talons grip to set the pace yes, I am not from this country, you scare leaves off the trees, the nude autumnal park obviously, I am alone in this shellshocked afterthought, trench warfare doughboys taught by mustard seeds when to use gas masks itinerant journeyman, road to bliss traveling judge on their circuit, justice concrete paved sidewalks, asphalt, city noise obviously, I have been given tasks mercy for the underprivileged, the poor pity the poverty stricken, to splice leaves fallen, fashion a rope, ...

Thought this would be for the rest of our lives The potential for excitement, long gone how naive to believe that this could last only time would tell of work and effort under a spell, false hope, now mow the lawn green grass freshly cut smells of violence how the world moves on, values of the past thrown away in the rubbish bin, old sport time to abort the project, late bloomer how fear of addiction made the most sense if the fear of poverty were stronger stronger still the desire to love, now dead witness the world in flux, now, no longer old school values, but now, the price of bread under the bus, thrown for a loop, rumor leaves no innuendo, out the window decisions made, lives lived, over and out bittersweet dark chocolate, swallow the pill emerge from a hermit crab shell, the glow foreign as happiness, joy lost, the cost only one soul, a laugh, a joke, why pout rich as a billionaire, but how to fill the gas tank, privilege learns, entitlement holds the keys...

« Il n’y a qu’un problème philosophique vraiment sérieux : c’est le suicide. » – Albert Camus One day, I will hang myself or GLOCK out Out, damned spot! out, I say! is what she said not knowing that I was dead, that I died evidence to the contrary persists defense objects but why so late, I paid about face, a price to be born, the scorn yes, disgrace, even if an old man cried I know words stretch through tones, tension resists wisdom, the strings on a guitar, rings true initially, justice as if unborn lifts the veil at the altar, bride undead lifts the curtains, audience in a trance humanity sold for a loaf of bread angels, all on the head of a pin, dance notice a graceful style, the old soft shoe given such a pitch how could I resist mischief, the world in a nutshell, aspires yet again to curry favor to prove science as thoughts cannot cease and desist except without thinkers, thoughts create clouds language without mirrors, burn old desires for new flames to a...

Walk away and do not interact with Walled in the besieged port city of Kot awkward glances as I walk past others left behind, an entourage of the king kindness unexpected, a smile, our lot ask not what lies ahead, history proves witnesses do not last, neither mothers agents of creation, what do I bring yes, good question, nothing, or maybe less agents of hope await rescue, the grooves neither loose nor tight as the axle spins decisions made not to suffer from strife distant voices heard, how it all begins obsessed with victory, the jinn breathe life not as the good people dream, I could guess organized hordes break down the western gate terror ensues, unarmed murder and rape instantly, my throat cut and left for dead nothing to do, how to help, such is fate triumphant in their mission, they soon leave exactly how I remember, a cape red with dried blood, covered my corpse, black bread answers my prayers, though I will never speak cowardly slaughter, I am left to g...

What did I do wrong to deserve this life Whispers around the corner, out of sight hands up for Hollywood (Hooray), I hear ask and you shall receive, am I selfish the world suffers, what can I do but fight depression to overcome the sorrow if I am not there, how did I get here difference is unspoken, unsaid, I wish I could just be happy with what I lost diligence to forget, may I borrow organization to get back my youth well, yes, I know, no time left to go back return to childhood past, ask, "What is truth?" only the mind reflects language, I lack not only the knack to pay for the cost given Jesus Christ was born on this day tomorrow, I will not read the good book order the world by principles of love decide religion is not what they say exceptions to the rule but what they do servants of ideology, a rook expresses dismay with the Lord above reserve opinions about religion versions of the truth, is azure a hue empty blue skies, a cloud is but a thought...

A boy beaten by his dad full of rage Acidic balsamic vinegar tastes bland, insipid, basically, hard cider or spiked punch, Sunday brunch, mimosa dry yesterday, grass fire, police, youth wastes brilliance, intelligence, dumb friends, moments eaten, honor dissolved, wide load, wider acceptance, tolerance, again, try, try try, mistakes made, childhood destroyed, self, soul empty-headed, stone cold, sold out, past tense negligent, violent guidance, house rules boy knows better, why sensitive, alarm yesterday, burning brush, jail cell, thread spools honor lost, bonds untied, boy beaten, harm injury, pour salt, insult, unpaid toll suffer ferocity, no pity, none decisions made generations ago absent parents, latch-key kids, sadistic dad, mom, brother, cousins, second-born son forget, forgive, let God, meaning sorrow understand loving-kindness, pain, freak show license, kill, double agent, statistic liquid dreams, lessons learned, abandon hope orbits circle, emptiness, t...

Do not talk, do not trust, and do not feel Do you know how alcohol and sheer rage orders a twelve-year old boy to obey not that this boy listened to the brown bear ordering him not to exit his cage that childhood was full of consequences that to talk back or not mind what they say admits accountability to wear life lived in dread of home, ran away twice killed time, no soul, no self, all expenses decidedly paid under a crawlspace observe spiders and sleep on dirt, cardboard no vacation, no fun, let it out, ace observe tears fall, what joy, pull the ripcord tormented for the rest of time, the price tortured children pay for just being born rust to lick, glass to eat, and rocks to kick until he understood he faced a task sisyphean in nature, how they scorn the need to live beyond the pain of birth answers never ready-to-hand, a trick nothing more, nothing less, wearing a mask disguised, father, mother, brother, no love distance never far enough, lack of worth or a...

Fundamentally different now, the world under President Blunt but what to do now that we lost political control different economics, a flag unfurled anguish over previous equity markers left in the ground without a clue education repayment takes a toll needless burden on the working classes take life in the city with no pity as the less fortunate suffer the dream languish hopelessly in filthy train cars life on the streets would make anyone scream yet, here we all are drowning behind bars drunk bartenders serve the helpless masses if you ask President Blunt to say less for God's sake, does he think he is the Pope foreigners out, make no mistake, he cares equally for no one, as you could guess rent paid, as they say, impossible, bet enter the world of poverty, smoke dope nothing more important, the time God shares time to explain nothing ever again notice the have nots, a world of regret on the Red Line, rough sleepers cannot thrive win or lose, death arrives ...

そうですか (Sōdesu ka)  ~ 禅師 白隠 ( Zenji Hakuin) Give up on humanity, give up hope instill an air of nonchalance, care less vindicated by the freedom to fail exert no effort, no pressure to help understand the impossibility possible in the need not to address givens as unspoken, as rules, the scale imbalanced, a finger adds weight to smoke vision meaningless, liability exempt from inclusion, as exclusion understands nothing from start to finish perhaps now avoid, avoid collusion now say less, say nothing, just make a wish or not, what does it matter, time is broke when the other is not worth blood or sweat winter solstice, absolute zero, stone asymptote brushes past not even time left behind the woman frozen to death kindness nowhere, a stone God cannot lift aware but now wary, weary, alone winter eats bones to the marrow, no crime answers nowhere, a gift, an empty box yet, no one seems to mind, a pointless gift no one seems to mind the woman frozen on the mountai...

What can you do to help motivate me? Welcome, as you are, to go with the flow how can I tell you to let go your hold as we know, a sense of control, balance this illusion, a delusion, all show can you not realize they teach us lies as only the bold are all in, then fold nothing but addicted fools, look askance yes, I speak up, trouble, I know you need objective understanding, the blue skies under the stars, above the clouds and rain decide on the right path, if you can choose objective reality on the train try to help motivate others, I lose only God helps people as when they bleed help the blunt man, argue the weight of smoke ego devours the brain, full of desire level up and lift, no hope, no joke, I laugh pollution everywhere, the world just broke meaningless gibberish, poetry, words objective correlative, I aspire to transgression, the rules, a social gaffe inebriated by a win, I lose victim of survival, the little birds argue in the bush, idle chatter, talk talk, talk, shut the do...

Aaron Aardewulf descends into deck-chair apathy, a cruise on New Year's Eve, no resolutions, empty, open, choiceless on a voyage to Erewhon , fair fair nowhere, going nowhere fast, die uncast Answer the question, what is there to know asinine, prick up your ears, donkey, guess relativity begs inanity definitive, special and general last exactly until the half-life of salt what is unknown, the meaning of language understanding what is is by default lessons to learn, measure mistakes and gauge further probes into our humanity defiant on the cruise, Aaron, seasick emetic as a rule, could not have fun so much gibberish in his head, but why cause a scene, hide away, let his watch tick enjoy suffering as never before never felt so unhappy in the sun depression is nothing to the blue sky since yesterday, he stopped drinking water insisting that in a book of folklore no one survives motion sickness at sea tormented by his choice to visit Rome only if he could drin...

As the consequences of our actions sometimes as grave and unforeseen as death the necessity for care and concern humanly possible, creates factions exhibiting counter measures to harm consideration becomes key as breath opens the passageways to live and learn not only fairly and simply but free since mistakes happen to set an alarm evidently from wheels not on the tracks questions arise as thoughts appear to cloud under the brilliance of the sun, to wax epistemic for truth, lost in a crowd nothing but laughter, children full of glee create destruction as a fun pastime epic in nature from small decisions seemingly inconsequential choices organic matter rubbed too hard, no crime for who could fault a child for lack of care objects deformed by touch, with incisions under the hand of a doctor, voices reproach beyond reproach so that lessons aspire to teach concern for those to share consequences of our actions impact the world as from a touch of bad conscience in t...

As far as this train goes, this is Howard A homeless woman spat at me, today smile, laugh, at our lack of humanity for context, coldest day in December as I sat down, she said, "Fuck off!", okay rational as a infant in her crib accept the facts, this is not vanity sanity is at stake, to remember the social dilemma, take the high road hegemony, a cosmic joke, a fib invented seven thousand years ago such leadership guides people and nations take the Red Line to Old Town Chicago reason states that at each of the stations anything could happen, observe the code inside the train, unwritten, unspoken no one knows the rules except common sense given the homeless have nothing to lose of course, God knows that the world is broken everyone pours God into God like milk strange interactions, sometimes so intense the disjunction with commuters, to choose how to get to work, where to fall asleep insists that no one knows just how to bilk social security from dead pe...

A Homeless Woman Spat at Me, Today Am I sorry that I do not believe maybe if like the others I had faith I do not know the difference with no God sorry because thus I cannot achieve objectives in this world, all these moments recall a past with no future, the wraith remembers a time when life was not flawed yes, I remember when I was a child the same but different, not all this nonsense hawk flies overhead, maybe a falcon all these people under the steeple lack the hook to grip with power, a talon I am the same but think too much, look back difference being none, once I was wild ordinary children called me screwy neglect is a monster, ignorant, lame only in America, no one cares the effects of language, words too chewy believe me ideology pokes fun everyone laughs, no one feels any shame left with their suffering, nobody shares if I believed in Jesus, who would know each time I go to church, I feel no one views our responsibility to earth empty pockets for the c...

Where Sanderson Lane turns to Warfield Drive When I spun around, all I felt was pain how I walked in front of Danny, the bat emerged swinging, he was next at the plate really, I was clueless, blood from my brain exactly not, from out my nose, gushed red Sanderson Lane, where the boys played, I spat and ran inside our house, never too late not knowing how to stop the flow, the sink did not do the trick, cold water, I bled effervescent flow, my head was held back ready to drive to the ER was dad second son was too much trouble, the crack of the baseball bat broke my nose, my bad not that we said that way back when, I wink Left to sort out, mom kept me calm, back seat at the hospital, sat in a wheelchair neat for a kid, but not today, I cried emotional tears, in life, I was beat take a moment to reflect, eight years old under the influence of unaware resort to smart but yes, I could have died not only that, I could have been blinded simply lucky, a broken nose, stay ...

Jealousy in this world of suffering enigmatic as too much zeal to clean avarice to obtain all the sorrow lust for the grotesque old bones slumbering obstinate as a mule to cling to life understanding nothing as if to glean silt from the surface as for tomorrow yesterday is enough presence to learn instructions as guidance to avoid strife necessary although oblique lines slant tumble down a grassy knoll from a well humble to watch a one-footed duck plant injury nowhere in the mind to spell simplicity observed, never to spurn watch animals survive, no thoughts, no mind obsessions minimal, no words to write revolution and war, what do they care leave politics to humans as they bind duty to actions, to enjoy what is fun obey the chains of command, as to spite feelings for others, the poor, if to share suffering and envy, a lifelong grudge understanding this gaze under the sun for more, live life to the fullest, the few flourish on yachts out at sea, they enjoy each...

Run late for work, say sorry, no good, no understanding of the needs of others needlessly unnecessary, unseen language games of the mind, unconscious snow arguments persist how to chart the mind throughout the city, around blind corners each intention hidden, what does this mean for it refers to this, x, y, or z ordinarily time, pink salt to grind restless, hopeless, wishful thinking, nothing witness humanity from a distance orbits apologize, will the train bring rest, or more work, endless, lost in a trance kindness to help others, how now to see suffering all around, callous, my foot ask Santa Claus to help the poor, no hope yes, Virginia, there is a chance in hell sorrow in Chicago, covered in soot order delivery, a cold weekend remind Judas, at the end of his rope remind Snowball never to wear a bell yes, Virginia, there is such poverty nothing to do but help, no one to send only Santa Claus with two-dollar bills give me a break, Chicago, so tired of rough ...

Lily has a face you will not forget if I could remember what she looks like let me dwell a bit on this mystery yesterday, I ran with Lilly, she set her pace with mine, an old man now, handsome as the hungry demons that drive a spike stainless-steel hollow shaft tube, blistery angry needle into my vein, I win faces in the crowd, an old man, lonesome apparition, a ghostly appearance comes into view, Lily, her eyes sparkle elegant as a long cat, does she dance yes, I could imagine with a light twinkle or, as a ballerina, a tall jinn under the influence of affluence winter snow comes early, November chill ill-resistance training for marathon light, eight-stone flying squirrel, confluence little-known, famous for nothing, merges notable figures together, uphill or downhill, in Chicago or Boston together we meet as rivers combine foreign and domestic, our age urges organization outside government relax, all night running, no, just three miles give Lily a fist bump, c...

Nederland B outon Ivana at the bakery, her eyes very blue, sparkle the lilt in her voice as tall as a small tree, a sapling grows not hard to look at, easy on the spies as they detect a neo-Skokie troll at the bakery, I have little choice too many allergies, so what I chose the Kalamata olive loaf, each week holidays excepted, sliced never whole expectations run high, mistakes once made become behaviors unless made correct arcane knowledge shut up in my chest, paid kindness by a tall, Dutch woman, protect elegance and beauty, am I a freak restart, press the button, I am too old yes, an old freak, white beard, long hair, I find happiness in moments, no one to share each day, full of complications, to hold recollections as if reality emerges from a dream, this life, my mind yes, I hope soon to die, I cannot bear each day, same old, same old, calamity stay gold, Ivana, always a surprise

Platitudes fade and lose their vital force lost after events pass, people move on as genocide and police violence take a back seat to perpetual war in the Middle East or in the Balkans tough to know in advance where hatred lurks under what stone atrocities exist despite diplomacy, who knows what works events are rarely positive, but hell suffers many casualties to help forget ethics as a social control as no one understands to do no harm despite our best efforts, to consider events with due diligence in advance ask in time, if history repeats itself not only will patterns take shape and form deceptions and delusions to deceive luckily, we conceive before we act our deliberation before actions solves the problem if consideration enters into collective consciousness time and again, people rush, act with haste haste makes waste stops no one from rolling stops each of us decide how moments take place if everybody were equal but life reveals a spectrum, scales on a ...

Her Incorporeal Intangible Assets Hannah, my favorite palindrome, says grace eating away my misbegotten soul really, her psyche, they warped by degrees Incorporeal flame takes up no space nothing but her spirit devours my mind crushes my bones with her molars, so foul openly attacks me, a summer breeze rushes at my body to knock me down perhaps how she shows love I find unkind ordinarily, a hug or caress reaches over to kiss the air, her cheek embraces my cheek with her emptiness absence makes the heart grow fonder, how weak lily-livered and cowardly, I drown Intangible assets found in arrears nothing but her ghostly apparition touches my soul, devours my corpse, a ghoul ask me how a desert demon who fears nothing and nobody finds me worthy given I celebrate Inquisition insufferable poetry runs foul burdened by decadence, how like a cat licking her fur to clean, sleek and curvy elegant, full of grace, pleasantly black Assets used as collateral, enough savings ...

When they say, "Jesus loves you," I believe however, I do not believe a word ever spoken by entitled black sheep nothing anybody dares to conceive they apparently know what I do not how their faith becomes fact, a little bird enters the fray to say I am asleep yet, my eyes are open without a doubt sleep eternal as cosmic dust, I caught a cold in Church, my death is imminent yet, they all say I will live forever Jesus and Bilbo Baggins view time spent endlessly as constructs of the never spoken fact within faith, stories hold clout understood as power or influence so, religion becomes pure politics lessons learned as anarchists demonstrate on the streets how portable their nonsense visions as radicals get together enterprise their agenda full of tricks slowly rabbits appear to congregate yet, no matter how social is their cause only to flock as birds of a feather until the streets become their church en masse I cannot attend to their lies, I pray but t...

No one gets the lowdown right from the start --- No idea, no idea at all, the train on its descent to the subway, went dark of course, flashlights made each car bright enough not a moment later, all dark again except, I felt strange here in Chicago genuinely freaked out, I saw a spark even though, nothing new, I felt a rough tug, "Hey kid, where you from?" Lights again bright shifting, my reflection from long ago the shock, sixteen again, forty years lost how is this possible, nowhere near home everyone got me sussed, am I a ghost looking at the window, I smelled sea foam only we had no trains, felt a bit tight wondering, was I drunk, how to explain despite not being old enough to know only, I did know, my mind understood wicked philosopher seeks not to gain not to let on but play it cool, a kid right, space and time travel, did the train glow in a way, I would breeze through school, dead wood given my marathon training, twelve years how I could crush th...

She walks up to him and reaches to shake his -- surprise-surprise -- that kind of party expectations arise, so he touches wet, unsurprisingly, she smiles, to take action, confidently, to a dark room listen, when she saw him, she felt crafty kisses on the sofa, then she clutches she grabs his hand, a virgin, his first time under the guise of darkness, death and gloom punk rock drummer succeeds to fail in love time is not on his side and he is drunk of course, he had to leave, he had no glove his friends drove, laughing, he smelled like a skunk in the car, he cried, this life was a crime maybe he would call her number, her name and years later, at a meeting, they meet needlessly make amends, what they were taught despite their initial attraction, shame releases both of them from past mistakes everyone wins for a moment, they greet anonymously, twelve-step lovers caught cuddling on a sofa, move on, sorrow holds on to memories, his body shakes earthquakes and Califo...

The sheep are counting on me to count sheep how they rely on me before I sleep existence dunks a bag of tea to steep sheep dust the corners of my eyes to sweep heaps of sand they take to the castle keep each day, after no sleep, I cry and weep each night, I pray to God, Little Bo Peep perhaps will find her sheep lost in the deep as for me, deep asleep, in faith, I leap rest assured, the sheep sell sand dust and reap existential profits foreseen as cheap charlatan of nightmares, Eugene the jeep orders the Sandman to buy back my sleep understanding nothing, fences they leap nothing to learn about me, friends, I weep tails cut off, all her sheep, what shall I keep in this world, my thoughts, but I am a creep no more friends, no more enemies, I seep grounded into the soil, little birds cheep old songs about the Road Runner, "meep, meep" no more friends, I remember, now I weep murder Stranger Danger, before I creep endlessly through this world, no dreams, no ...

Fog rolls in off the coast, car lights useless as if to drive through clam chowder, go slow in a rush, humanity, nearly blind totally impatient, such is success how the unforewarned next generation inside a stone, a beating heart, to show science is poetry inside the mind as memories roll in, remember faith transforms the past as loss, enervation order the structures of the mind, a tool obeys the rules, functions like a lever lifts a stone from the sea, a gem, a jewel fulcrum balances the scales forever objective correlative of a wraith religion is never justice, just fear suckling the teat of a goat, infant god obtains the rule to establish the law control with myths and legends, never vear into oncoming traffic but the road as hidden by the fog questions the rod left by the fireplace, spoil the small flaw contained as a mystery in the child old enough to know nothing, a workload needlessly on his back as punishment traipse through the woods with a backpack and...