"I sought fit words to paint the blackest face of woe" ~ Sir Philip Sidney

Not unlike a character in a book of fiction, a novel, set in our day time appears as a river, as a stream unlike other people, I am a kook needlessly suffering, unlike others liquor and pills lessen the pain, they say in this world of illusion, not to dream kills the meaning of life, what can I do everyone appears otherwise, brothers a donkey brays, prophets write, asinine character makes the man, old-fashioned thoughts hold tightly to the purse strings, catch a line a train south from Evanston, stop on dots relay to catch and release, grasp the clew a ball of thread in gold, beyond value cretin myths, for her, he kills a monster the sister, a princess in a kingdom each man is a hero, or not, a clue reminiscent of our humanity in a word, delusion, what cannot stir noodles in a stock pot, for what will come a prophesy, an ancient world, spoken book a flight to visit what I pity obsolete, meaningless jargon, words lost on inhumanity, how the clouds plead kook, wa...

If nobody asks me, then must he know Inside, we watch television and wait for dinner, our mom cooking at the stove never could we understand this moment only later, as adults, such a trait blossoms in gratitude, this perspective objectivity observes as a clove drops into a pot to release fragrant yesterdays, subjectivity in thoughts as deep as the Mariana Trench, dive surface to ten thousand meters for love kindness in a pot of biryani succumbs to a flavorful past, above merchants await our catch, drink port, tawny empty bottles litter the deck, slipknots trace emotions back to events, the fence how separate we are from our neighbors each step, a misstep, as spicy crab rolls never process their grievances, so dense mustard gas tastes sweet until my lungs bleed until my heart bursts, until my brain pours salt on the wounds, open up all the holes trepanation relieves too much pressure hamburger before dinner, stoned for greed excessive hunger, empty stomach, wait ...

Ghosty was not a sadistic dickhead however, I was not a privileged child only unlike an only child, brother shit goes down l, only if you flush, instead terror with my brother and my cousin yes, after school, when I got home, the wild wilderness was inside, as the other an unwanted mouth to feed, clothe, shelter shit goes down, alcohol enables sin not bad, until I acted out outside only then, show the neighbors things are bad tough luck, touch the wall, hammer falls, no pride answers my brother, the lion, how sad sorry for you, gonna be a swelter ask later who loves you, nobody boy dickhead sadistic brother, the lion ingratiates himself to gain favor suck up corporate stooge, all just a ploy triumphant elephant uses his weight insinuates your loss as the scion cultural of cool from Kenya, savor distance, time looks askance, given the chance imagine my sister, on her first date create a sibling as if from fiction kindness unseen in my family, scapegoat honestly,...

The funniest thing in the world to call human nature, spicy, as a Goan even though, I was not born in Panjim for God's sake, if I were never to fall under the spell of history, the past no more than a footnote, as if to span not the Equator, as if, on a whim in a pot of pork vindaloo, my brain emerged intact, divergent , the die cast stereotypical grumpy white guy to reveal the norm in society to call a spade, a spade is racist, buy honor bright detergent, variety is the spice of life, so they say, insane neurodivergent / neurotypical give me some truth, vinegar and garlic in the vineyard and the shipyard, old wine now vinegar, used to cook, cynical treats for this dog-eat-dog world, bite the bone humanity, a lie, with salt to lick each cow eats grass and kicks rocks, pickle brine winks with potato eyes, a hopeless case organize a trip to visit a stone rest in peace, I waited too long, to see life as meaningless as going to prom divide my time between wor...

In hindsight, I remember, I was wrong not that it matters to anyone else high school was tumultuous for many if I made mistakes, I am sorry but nobody cares for late apologies despite the fact, we were only children sharing a brief moment all together in four years, nobody cared about school given most of us were in our first year how lost I became from choices I made the ability to cope from childhood I never had a chance to learn to grow realizing that I was stuck was hard everyone could see it was difficult maybe my brain was warped from all the drugs each time, I look back at connections missed missing out on the deeper relations buried deep in my memory, sorrow effects the way I perceive this moment realizing that all events connect I had no way to trust my own feelings worthlessness embodied my state of mind as an adolescent in a punk band say less, I guess the facts speak for themselves wrong turns, decisions made, people I hurt really, others move on, a...

Do not let me fall in love with you, dear Difficult because the difference perceives objectively, never ... survival counts never discount first impressions, the mind observes how what remains hidden ... deceives trust not the appearance ... the impression lonely as a cloud, I wandered ... renounce every idea that comes to mind, I find trouble finds me easily ... what to do make me an instrument of discretion everywhere there is peace ... I have good taste forget how young you are, how old I am as there is no time left ... no time to waste let me be young ... not a dead, closed, steamed clam let me just die in your arms ... not a clue in the world as to why ... a lonely cloud never to know, understand the meaning lapses of memory ... I am alive only, I do not know ... under a shroud versions of the story ... already dead evidence in the bin ... solvent cleaning windows to see outside better ... I dive into the depths of the ocean, a trench traps clouds from wand...

People try to converse with me, to talk essentially, about things, I say less of course, they know nothing about my life politely, I try to play nice, to walk literally away, or sit alone ever always alone, this world, I bless talent wasted on fools, on my ex-wife remember, long ago, in love, we fell yet, the institution, marriage, a stone talk to the albatross around my neck obviously, the ancient mariner callous, heartless monster, full of bad luck obsequious monsters, a foreigner negligible, a hand for dogs to smell vanquished, born under a bad sign, the blues every mistake possible, compliments reflect the opinions of a stranger say less, entitled and privileged, I lose each time I meet someone I do not know willow branches appear to weep, nonsense inside the mind we share, a hive, danger thoughts hover, a wasp nest, evil, a test haunted by awareness, the picture show mention how good it looks, before not good every time, bite my tongue, say less, no more t...

Trumpery! Things Are Getting Out of Hand The philosophy of the trophy wife rips holes in the fabric of her story until the Middle East destroys the beast murdering women and girls at school, strife practices greed, hatred, and ignorance empty bombed out buildings as a lorry retrieves bodies to bury as dogs feast yellow suns, yolk colored eyes, vultures wait Trophy wife as first lady, the distance hopelessly far between neurons, she thinks intelligence as just a colorway needlessly suffering over the lynx generous full length fur coat just to pay service to amor fati, love of fate Answers to politics, or her lifestyle remain equal with indifference or care empty-handed, she offers to the poor Generously, her nature, without guile empty-headed, she blunders with a laugh twitterpated by old man underwear troubled by what comes next, granny pants score incomprehensible points in Iceland not bothered by the media, her gaffe gets a rise out of the geezer in chief Ob...

If ... sleep is the cousin of death ... just let for God's sake, just let me, for one moment sleep ... maybe never to wake up ... I care little if I die, does it matter ... bet everyone, eventually, one day except not all at once ... morbid ... foment personal rebellion to sleep ... I dare instigate, incite, provoke, agitate sleep ... just let me ... sleep ... for God's sake ... I say to say less is itself too much ... just sleep however, do not snore or talk ... I turn each time, over ... the other side ... I weep can I just get a good night's rest ... I burn old books nobody reads ... I navigate under the surface of the sea ... submit submarine ... submission ... octopus rock in another day and age ... forerunner no predecessors ... no one to admit only pipe dreams ... all my dreams gone ... like dust fine dust ... clumps of dust ... in my eyes ... I shock deliberately, to stir up ... bummer end this life ... just end ... sooner than later as I must ...

Nobel Peace Prize Winner / W ar Criminal No one knew, they gave the Nobel Peace Prize of course, to ... of all the worthy people but why ... why him ... of course, I know ... but no everyone shakes their heads ... apologize listen, with no future ... and history ... Problems of a first-world leader ... steeple echoes the bells in the tower ... and lo as I walk to the train station, I think certain everyone knows just how gory events in the Middle East must be ... not Perhaps they made a mistake ... but Dylan right, and not Philip Roth ... then he died ... caught in a conundrum ... a pickle ... villain zebra in an orange jumpsuit ... no, pink empty the dark sky of stars ... entropy Women and children first, Minab ... witness in his lifetime ... all apologies ... ha! nothing of the sort ... not a word ... soapy nevermore slippery ... to catch a thief everyone looks to find ... unfit fitness rfk, junior exemplifies ... caw! World-weary traveler ... observe the war ...

An Unfounded Lie And lead us not into temptation, but ... no, so sorry, never mind, I misspoke Under the principle, the rule of law ... no, so sorry, never mind, must have put forgot what I was going to say, lies organized and codified ... snort some coke until I feel the need to dig a claw ... no, so sorry, never mind, need to sleep difficult to say, what if my mom dies even if I make it back home before death swoops down from above with wings jet black Listen ... I have to buy a ticket or in a moment, lose everything I lack even if I make it back before ... weep

Problems of Metaphysics in Ethics Perhaps notions of the self and non-self reveals aspects of the west and the east only resolved within philosophy better to ask questions left on the shelf left unresolved and uncertain, unknown except as conjecture, G-d is a beast maybe lightning will strike me dead, trophy sky blue emptiness within mindfulness objections to the rule cannot be shown forsaken by community, the poor Methodology as process theory emptiness unlike clear blue skies, the floor taken by the speaker, the world-weary aspects of poverty, loving-kindness potentially within community how individuals decide their fate yet chance remains beyond choices, voices surface out of slumber, without pity institutional racism, its face classified, left hidden, to elevate students beyond this world full of choices interventions against hatred and greed no one understands the effects replace Equity with hierarchy and shame troubles to overcome on the journey honesty...

Pot Calls Kettle Please, help me to understand what I lack only because Click and Clack as talk show talents gave a lot of flack as they knew Cars, on a slack line, Doctor Who, a crack as the walls come apart, to be someone left surfing in darkness, alone, you know liquid sunshine dazzle , what the wind blew surface-to-air missiles, the hack poet Kindness is karma, the cretin, his gun even if metaphysics is not real take a moment to breathe, to take a break take a moment to grieve, sorrow to feel leave suffering for the skinheads, boards creak even if heaven and hell were just, So What

Nobel Peace Prize Winner / War Criminal With the memory of an elephant in an instant, I connect all the dots this universe, from beginning to end how awareness helps me to understand that decisions decide how an event how a catastrophe takes place, the thoughts empty-headed fools rush to comprehend miniscule amounts of the big picture empty-handed, nothing to offer, spent money, savings, equity, the whole lot objectivity, hard to find, to learn remember the past since the first onslaught yesterday, they killed my family, they earn only a pittance, if they read scripture foreign to illiterate fools, a book archaic, ancient tongues spoken, translate needlessly for empty-hearted spokesmen energetic thugs, endgame, king and rook leave it to the billionaires not to care elegant in their finery, too late phonies surround the graveyard, born-again horny goat weed tea drinkers, tusks in hand as if I could change the past, would I dare nothing but consequences, watch an a...

Full Moon Corona From the gut, visceral, to expel from the bowels, the illness, the sickness unwittingly, people enjoy to share their pain and trauma with others lift my body with wings, wishful thinking, angel flies too close to the sun let me down easy, please, God bless you, if I sneeze, no sniffles, no weakness Mom plans to die, a trip to Cali, Little Bird, no fun to say goodbye over the moon with joy, I cannot remember the last time, she gathers old threads of pretty yarn, my girlfriend will not come, my brother is no fun no fun to be alone on a two-day train ride to say goodbye for good Cut the silver lining from around the dark clouds to weave into the sky objectively, my bad, accountability, so sad about the end remember the last time, I ran the marathon, Surf City, my hometown obsessive compulsive, losing my train of thought, Amtrak around the bend no fun to be alone, to travel the country, would I not rather drown ask me what I would miss, running until I die, t...

Of course, I met the professor at work homeless, a former long-distance runner honor the doctor of philosophy except when he says too much, a dumb jerk yes, I reflect the mirror of language Monster beats drop from a former drummer absurd to observe karma, a trophy triumphantly displayed, grown child award try untoward, no shortage of garbage honor not intellectual rubbish only the mirror rears its ugly head why could I not see this coming, sluggish as a sloth, wishfully just as cute, dead ringer for a t-shirt, baseball scoreboard except to share too much information yet be absolutely clueless, speaker oh, hey Matt, how are you doing today understand all this, above my station deny the rubbish as my own, I groan only to witness my bad faith, weaker intellectual reflections decay not from brilliance but from opacity given language is the key, as a bone to pick a lock, the door opens, to talk or not to talk, as to communicate debate the meaning of life, take a wal...