Disentangled ~ Tuesday, September 1, 2026

Your death affected so many people
only, at the time, I could not process
until decades later, an old man now
remembering your decision, simple

done deal, maybe you saw no other choice
even if I were happy, I confess
as the years pass, I feel lost, I feel slow
that I could not foresee how life plays out
how after three decades, I found my voice

acceptance of the facts is not easy
forgiveness is even harder than loss
forget what took place, I get so queasy
embracing the impossible, I toss
coins in the air, heads, I win, tails, I pout
teddy bear gone, tears on my pillow, doubt
empties the church, faith rings from the steeple
dying at such a young age, if I knew

somehow, nobody saw what was coming
obvious in hindsight, like a dimple

maybe you smiled the last time we hung out
as if I could remember, I was blue
nothing I could do to help you, humming
your favorite tune, I never knew, no time

perhaps, after six months, maybe, no doubt
every single one of your friends in shock
only I could not cry, until alone
perhaps, I felt safe in my car, so dark
left with my thoughts and memories, or none
except your suicide, oh, what a crime

Rest in peace

Jennifer Lynn Connell

August 25, 1974 - April 28, 1997

requiescat in pace